I know there's always a big gap between my postings, but the older I get the busier I become. As you know I've started my Freshman year in Highschool so that's Dope. I'm actually having a great time.
I joined Cross Country and it has been a cool experience. The season has ended for that so now I'm just having a good time in dancing classes. Maybe one day I'll share with you some of my killer moves. Don't hold your breath though.
Well now let's get into it. The latest book I read is called The Alchemist, written by Paulo Coelho in 1988. This book is about a Shepard boy who dreamt of treasures near Pyramids in the desert. At first, he thought it was a regular dream until a mysterious guy told him to follow his dream which eventually he called a "Personal Legend". The Shepard decided to sell his sheep and go in search of his destiny, and it definitely wasn't an easy adventure. The boy went through many struggles during his search. He couldn't just walk to the desert, he had to find new ways to make money, since he sold hit sheep. The closer the boy got to finding his treasure the more problems he faced, but he still pushed through with help from the universe and his understanding of the language of the world. If you want to know if he found the treasure, read the book to find out.
I personally enjoyed this book for multiple reasons. One of my favorite things to do is watch anime so this made me think of The FullMetal Alchemist anime. Outside of anime, I liked this book because I felt as if it was meant for me to read-like it was a sign. The book talks about the Shepard following his dream but I feel like it has inspired me to follow mines. It also has many lessons like nothing ever comes easy and never giving up even when life pushes you to your limits. I really recommend this book to everyone, it might inspire you. Anyway, Thank You for reading my blog, and always have a wonderful day.
It is with great sadness and a heavy heart to announce the passing of Mr. Floyd Cooper. 😢
Like the rest of the African American literary community, we are devastated to hear the news.
Floyd was truly an amazing artist and genuinely an amazing person and we're exceedingly grateful to have been a part of his life. My heart goes out to his family and everyone mourning his death.
Is it weird that I was actually kind of sad about leaving?
Hear me out.
First of all, it was a new school for me because I left my previous middle school for being like the only black kid. I swear it was a school for trolls. The pandemic hit by the time I switched schools and my new school had just finished being built. But because of the pandemic, I didn't get to spend much time there until the end of the school year. I swear I went from being a sixth grader to graduating middle school in a blink of an eye.
The school though, was amazing! I finally got a locker that I never got to use. my teachers were awesome! We even had a courtyard that I never got to be in until the last day. I had drive by friends. Hi and Byes real quick like. I have no idea what they look like without their masks. I could walk past any of them in the streets and I wouldn't know a thing. 🤷🏽♂️
What a year right?
Either way, I'm so grateful for all my experiences, for my teachers and my drive by friends. They did an excellent job at keeping it together. Kuddos to all the pandemic graduates!!!!
High school though!!!!??? Whoa!!! Am I even ready for this? I went to my new high school the other day to register for sports and all the "kids" there looked like adults. That wasn't intimidating at all.
I will count myself lucky though because besides getting help from my mom I got the chance to chat with Horace Hough about his book "8 things every boy should know about being a man." and surviving those last precious years of adolescence. I got some great feedback.
Before I share the interview I did with Mr. Hough, Let me tell you a little bit more about who he is and his background.
Horace Hough has spent his life working with urban and suburban families through community initiatives, nonprofit organizations, mentoring, and education. For years he has worked to help people access opportunities, knowledge, and counsel. Through this commitment, he developed a special passion to help young men. His time as an administrator at an all-boys middle school, working as director of an all-boys mentoring program, and decades of community work with young men have inspired him to provide as many tools as possible for boys to navigate adulthood. Adding a focus on boys to an already overwhelming concern to help the community has inspired him to create opportunities to assist those trying to handle the challenges of life. Horace was born and raised in New York and currently resides in Connecticut.
The simple answer? After years of working with boys from different backgrounds, I noticed that many of them struggled with the same societal challenges. I wanted to create a handbook to help them through those struggles.
The long origin story? For some time, I served as a Vice Principal at an all-boys middle school. One of the students was sent to the office for using profanity towards the teacher. He told me that the teacher blamed him for something he did not do. I asked what that had to do with his behavior. He said something like, you mean to tell me that I just have to sit there and take if she’s blaming me for something I didn’t do? I said something like, well, you can’t do what you did! He looked utterly confused. That is when I asked, “why don’t you know thi…” I trailed off because I realized that he had no one to talk to him about what is considered appropriate behavior for a 5 foot 5, deep-voiced boy who doesn’t realize he looks like a man. That’s when I said, “You know what? I’m going to write you a handbook!
Did you have a strong male figure in your life growing up? If no, when did you realize how important it was to have one and when did you began transitioning into what you believe a man to be? If yes, What are some of the greatest lessons you’ve learned from him?
Yes, unlike many of my friends and most of the boys I have served, I had a present and loving father at home. The older I get, the more I realized how “blessed” I was and am to have had his example. Listing the greatest lessons is difficult. It’s like asking about the G.O.A.T. in sports or music. However, I will give you 6 things that got me through high school. One – Know who you are before anyone else has a chance to convince you otherwise. Two – You don’t have to be aggressive to be respected. Three – acting on your anger rarely leads to anything good. Four – Always think, plan, and strategize for your long-term goals. Five – Be reliable, loyal, and let your reputation do the talking. Six – You don’t have to shy away from recognition, but please don’t look for it.
What kind of advice can you give a teen boy with no father figure entering high school for the first time with other hormonal teens? How can one survive and stay above it all?
All of my previous answers would be included in the advice. However, I would add a couple of things. Spend time recognizing the culture of high school. Who are the cliques? Who are the friends? What are their behaviors? Who are their enemies? Be pleasant, but observe your environment and learn who’s who. Keep your anger in check. Please recognize peer pressure when it comes. Doing that allows you to be honest about why you want to do whatever it may be. Acknowledge when acting on your feelings is not in your best interest. That kind of honesty will keep you out of foolish situations.
What kinds of things did you struggle with as a teen and how did you overcome them?
Anger was my number one issue. Without a strong community of family and good examples, I may have ended up in a different place in life. Yet, here is the thing: Anger is usually not the original emotion. Something else comes first that leads to anger. My anger came from sadness (due to some major losses in my life), insecurity, and of course, testosterone.
What kind of advice would you give a teen boy who feels they have way too much going on? What’s the best way to just take a break and catch a breath and take it all in? And do you feel we need to ALWAYS be busy with something?
Firstly, find an outlet to express your frustration. That could be done through writing, counselling, art, etc. Secondly, build supportive relationships with friends and family. You may not always need to talk about what’s going on, but you can benefit from being around people you know that care.
Sometimes, you cannot take a break. Life can be rude and inconsiderate when it comes to your schedule. It does not care about your plans, your vacation ideas, your summer schedule, or if you need a break. That is why having support around you is vital. You need to be able to find comfort inside your storms.
No. We don’t always need to be busy. Busyness can be a great distraction. So, if you need a distraction, well…be busy. Play a game. play a sport. Whatever. Just do not let it get in the way of your responsibilities. On the other hand, sometimes we also need silence to figure things out. We need to plan, think, be honest with ourselves, etc. Always being busy can be a bad crutch that helps men run away from themselves. Be brave and face yourself.
What are your deepest thoughts about a man crying and the secrecy we seem to have to have with our emotions? (Meaning society's ideas of what a strong emotionless man looks like and how expressing ourselves openly doesn’t fit the social norm for masculinity).
I must answer this on two fronts: One - I don’t think that anyone should be ashamed of crying, and no one should feel superior to someone else because they don’t cry. We cry because of pain, sadness, grief, sometimes happiness, anger, etc. For me, the big issue with men is not whether they cry or not, it is if they admit that they are in pain, are sad, etc. If it shows up through crying…fine. If it shows up in silence…fine. But be honest.
Two – Now that I have said that, sadly our society still does not know what to do when men show emotions other than happiness and anger (this goes for men and women). So, we should be aware of who sees us in that place. It can be weaponized against us, it can make us a target, and it can make us seem weak to people who believe that way. Having a safe space is very important. For some boys, that is their mother. For some, it is a friend. For others, it is a guidance counsellor, coach, teacher, or youth worker. You need to be able to feel what you feel without judgement. At the school, when I would see a young man about to cry in front of other boys…I would immediately send him to my office. Everyone thought he was in trouble, but I just wanted to give him a space to cry it out without being judged or ridiculed by everyone else. There were other men who would say suck it up - and that has it place - but there must be balance. When I was sure the young man was done crying, after I gave him tissues and the like, I would not send him back out until he looked normal and had it together. From there, I would check on him throughout the day. To this day, those boys – many who are now men – still talk to me because I protected and supported them through acknowledging that although crying is fine, everyone does not think so.
Speaking of emotions, I am wondering what you think the best way to share your emotions with women and how to command respect without being aggressive if they belittle, disregard, or minimize your feelings?
Lol. This one is not that hard to answer, it is just hard to do. The best way to share your emotions with women is simply to be brave enough to do it. That is the first step. Many boys and men never get past feeling too intimidated to do so. Now, if you struggle to find the words to describe emotions, then speak from your head rather than your heart. Describe what you are experiencing as if you were telling someone about what your friend was experiencing. Many boys have a much better developed analytical vocabulary than emotional one.
Regarding being belittled and having your feelings disregarded or minimized, to that question there is no easy answer. That is because being treated that way has little to do with you and much more to do with them. People who disregard boys’ feelings, are either a product of stereotypical teaching themselves, they don’t trust that you are being honest, or they don’t think that a “kid” understands struggle. So, unless the issue is that you always complain and they think you are “crying wolf,” it is an issue that is fairly out of your hands. When this is the case and you can’t convince them of your pain, you may need to find a new safe space.
Are you working on any new books? If so, can you tell me a bit about them?
I’m working on a few projects simultaneously right now, but I’ll share with you that I’m creating the Mom’s Guide to 8 Things. It is not a book to tell moms how to parent. That is none of my business. It is a Guide to 8 Things. With this project, I am talking to the mother about what I wrote to the son. I am also giving her tips and ideas on how to encourage his growth considering all the things he may be battling. Although, after this interview, many of your questions have highlighted things that I may need to put in my next book.
What are your goals as an author?
Honestly, I am a novelist at heart, hence, all the stories preceding the chapters. My ultimate goal is to write novels. However, when it comes to non-fiction like 8 Things, my goal is to help whomever I can. As simple as that may sound, that is it. I just want to help where I can.
WOW!!! Right!?
What an interview.
Am I ready for High School?
I don't know but I feel more ready than I did a week ago.
Shout out to Mr. Hough!! Thanks for taking the time to chat with me and sharing your thoughts.
Shout out to Mr. Floyd Cooper for being my first interviewee and a light of guidance in the beginning of middle school.
Shout out to Mrs. Sharon Langley for sharing her story and an important part of history with me.
And Shout out to my mother for your guidance and wisdom and never giving up on me.
This book was written by Horace Hough and was released on May 31st, 2019.
I have to say I personally love this book. It really helped me understand a lot more stuff about myself and about being a man. If you are a teenager struggling with life because of things that have been happening from school to life in general, then this book is for you. This book gives advice and could help you understand feelings that you didn't completely understand.
This book helped me a lot because I'm not getting any younger and I've had panic attacks randomly because I felt like I'm getting older too fast and it was overwhelming. Because of this book, I feel much better about growing up and becoming a good man so I highly recommend it for boys and even some men who are struggling with manhood. I also encourage some women to read this book. It would give you insight on some of the things men go through but don't talk about, maybe even give you ideas on how to be supportive. (Not to say that women aren't already supportive). Which is another thing the book talks about-about how men should treat women and how to accept and respect them.
I have to be honest, in my opinion, from what I've been witnessing and experiencing and learning, it doesn't seem to me that too many are in fact good men, so I'm hoping that many young boys read this book so we can grow up to be better men and be proper gentlemen to the ladies and learn to truly respect them and ourselves. If you're a man reading this blog or if you're a father with a young man at home, I encourage you to read this book. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this blog and I really hope that you guys get the chance to read this book. Make sure you pay it forward and recommend it to any boy/man you know. Also feel free to share my blog, like, subscribe, and leave comments. More book reviews to come as well as new Merch.
